Why a Collaborative Divorce is Better for Those who Seek ANONYMITY

One significant contrast between a case litigated in the court system and a Collaborative agreement merely submitted for signatures is the anonymity provided the parties in the process. Many divorce lawyers advise their clients to say vile things about the other parent to sway the sympathies of the judge. These attorneys are most comfortable arguing the case. Without a thought to the impact on the children (or even the parties, who, after all, once loved each other) they create these abusive declarations to be signed by their client and filed in the public court file.

For example, in a custody dispute, the judge would want to hear evidence of any history of drug or alcohol abuse, physical or emotional abuse, and any other factors the court deems relevant. The law on this can be misused, and often is, since it is left to the judge to weigh all the factors and determine a parenting plan in the best interest of the child.

That is right--anyone who cares to can look into a court file and see what steps were taken through the divorce process. A child entering the courthouse will not be barred from reading the content of the pleadings, not will anyone else. The laws do not allow anyone to easily seal a file in any lawsuit, even one so sensitive as your divorce. In a California Collaborative Case, the file reader will see the initial stipulation that the case is collaborative. The reader will see the final agreed-to judgment with the signature of each party, team members and the judge. Only.

During the Collaborative case, the parties may have had to confront real, wrenching disputes. They may have thrown harsh accusations against the other party. With the help of their coaches, they also may have taken those very difficult confrontations and turned them to good use. Without any public display, they may learn how best to communicate and co-parent in their newly reconfigured family.

Of course, not everyone needs the Collaborative case and the anonymity it affords for this sort of reason. Many simply prefer the control over the result and the speed they can have in a Collaborative case.

Anonymously submitted by a member of Pasadena Collaborative Divorce